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Too Funny Not to Share

January 30, 2011

Even when you live in an old house your whole life, it can still yield surprises about former occupants.  And when you live in an old house, you’re always working on it.  An ongoing project has been to add insulation, and the room we’re working on now had wallpaper applied to cheesecloth over rough cut old growth fir.  So down came the wallpaper first, and Hangdog saw a folded up letter fall to the floor…

and this is what it said.

There’s always a first time!
I remember the first time I tried it,
I was only a lad of sixteen,
and she was far younger than I.
But more composed and serene.

I was eager, yet terribly awkward.
Uncertain to proceed.
But she seemed not to notice the hesitancy,
with which I prepared for the deed!

I was out at the barn I remember.
At the close of a lush summer day.
The evening was scented with clover,
and the fragrance of new-mown hay!

I remember she made no objections,
or showed evidence of alarm.
For I loved her and she loved me,
since first she came to the farm.

I recall I spoke to her softly,
as I cuddled her face in my hands.
And I saw the look deep in her eyes of a loved one,
who understands.

I remember she moved closer,
the touch of her body warm,
as I slid my fingers over her throat.
She nestled her head on my arm.

Looking back on it,
Now I remember I stood while my heart seemed to spin.
With the thrill of the thing I was going to do.
Yet, I was somewhat reluctant to begin.

Her eyes serene, I thought to rebuke me – for waiting.
For being afraid.
And when old Tillie, the plow horse
looked over her shoulder and neighed.

Long later, I stood up uncertain.
And gazed long at the setting sun,
tingling with pride and yet shaken and aired.
To know that at last it was done.

I remember (it seemed hours later) how my heart
hammered hard under my blouse,
with the joy of a boy turned into man,
as I made my way back to the house.

Twenty years have gone by since that evening,
But I’ve never forgotten my vow.
The thrill and joy I felt as a boy,
on the day I milked my first cow!

square nail – parlor

I guess I’ll file this in family cow and farm life…

37 Comments leave one →
  1. michelle permalink
    January 30, 2011 12:36 am

    in a nutshell… wow

  2. January 30, 2011 4:04 am

    That is great stuff! And just amazing! How cool that you found it like that.

  3. January 30, 2011 5:23 am

    That’s quite the find!!!

  4. Marcia permalink
    January 30, 2011 5:42 am

    What a treasure! Did you recognize the handwriting? In renovating our old ranch house all we’ve found is a beat up leather glove…

  5. January 30, 2011 6:11 am

    Too funny! What a treasure. Thanks for sharing.

  6. January 30, 2011 7:25 am

    That is a treasure! Awesome.

  7. January 30, 2011 8:03 am

    too funny, thanks for sharing it! I love the strange things that fall out when working on an older house!

  8. January 30, 2011 8:47 am

    That made me laugh!
    I was going one direction with the first verse, and then switched direction and actually thought it was leading up to the killing of an animal…
    So laughed when it was about milking a cow. If it’s in suitable condition you should frame that, or a photocopy of it, and at least hang it in the barn:)

  9. January 30, 2011 10:10 am

    Beautiful. What a treasure.

  10. January 30, 2011 11:10 am

    Wow! That would be so cool to find that! Thanks for sharing that!

  11. Fid permalink
    January 30, 2011 11:44 am

    Thanks for sharing…so sweet it brought tears to my eyes. Fid

  12. January 30, 2011 12:43 pm

    I have heard similar ditties but it must have been great to find it. Did it have a date attached? Funny how our minds create pictures…

    Cheers – Joolz

  13. MMP permalink
    January 30, 2011 1:19 pm

    Why do we wait to insulate our old houses in the depth of winter…

    I just got done insulating the bathroom. It’s our home’s only room that has “central heat”, so anything to make it cozier.

    I guess that’s why we do it in the winter, so we’ll know if it worked!

    • January 31, 2011 5:51 am

      MMP, I wish I had an answer to that question! But, it seems to be standard in this household. Too much to do outside when it’s warmer is the only excuse I can think of 😉

  14. bunkie permalink
    January 30, 2011 1:35 pm

    2 thumbs up! thanks for sharing!:O)

  15. Eliza J permalink
    January 30, 2011 1:41 pm

    That is hysterical!!!! Yes, funny the picture our minds tend to go in.

  16. January 30, 2011 2:52 pm

    LOL made my day…..must have made yours too 😉

  17. January 30, 2011 6:02 pm

    How fun, we’ve found some old new papers from 1911 and a magazine( farmer type) but nothing so neat as your find. Maybe the author is smiling down that it is at long last found :o) Say, thanks for sharing it with us.

  18. January 30, 2011 7:58 pm

    That’s hilarious! What a find.

  19. January 30, 2011 8:34 pm

    That’s hysterical! I was pretty sure I knew where it was going, but still VERY funny–maybe even more so, understanding the double entendre! Tomorrow we are closing on the sale of our wonderful, beautiful 120-year old house that we moved out of two years ago when we bought this little farm. Every time work was done on the old house, I haunted the process, looking for “treasures.” I can’t say I found any as exciting (or funny) as yours, but I did find a lot of neat things which I am keeping, by the way. I will always love that house and there will never be another like it, and yet I will be happy to be done with being torn between two places. This is Home now–and may they carry me out feet first! Congratulations on your find, and may your house continue to surprise and delight you!

  20. January 31, 2011 5:14 am

    That is so cool, Thank you for sharing. I hope you can figure out who wrote it. It is a very powerful writing. B

  21. knancy permalink
    January 31, 2011 8:44 am

    What a great find! Is there any way to find out who may have written it? Do you think it is an original writing or something someone just stuck there? So interesting. Can’t beat finding good treasure.

  22. January 31, 2011 11:25 am

    Oh, how funny! That’s a great find. Mmmmm, a shame I don’t have wallpaper. We did find a very old coke bottle and a newspaper in the walls when we did the plumbing… but nothing so funny!

  23. January 31, 2011 12:28 pm

    That was pretty cool! Had me going there…and he is right being able to milk by youself for the first time is an accomplishment!


  24. January 31, 2011 2:25 pm

    LOL! Just knew it!

  25. January 31, 2011 5:25 pm


  26. January 31, 2011 5:55 pm

    awesome! when my husband and i hung some drywall in the bedroom of our *old* house, we put a Polaroid photo of us in the space between the studs. someone’s in for a surprise.

  27. February 1, 2011 5:46 pm

    LOVE IT!!

  28. February 1, 2011 5:56 pm

    I needed a laugh today! What a treasure!

  29. February 1, 2011 6:01 pm

    I also wanted to thank you for sharing your husband’s “remedy” with me today. I’m going to test myself and eliminate oats for a few weeks. It’s certainly plausable – I’ve significantly upped my oat intake after giving up gluten (although I do WW sourdough in strict moderation). I’ll cry if I lose the oats!

  30. February 1, 2011 7:21 pm

    LOL – Thanks for the laugh!

  31. February 1, 2011 8:29 pm

    What a fabulous find! In all of our home improvement we have yet to find something so fantastic.

  32. February 2, 2011 8:15 am

    Oh, you can imagine where I thought this was going!! How amazing for you to get glimpses of the past right in your house, talk about “if these walls could talk!” Amazing!!

  33. February 2, 2011 10:51 am

    Apparently it was from _Stag Stories for Men Only_, 1960.

    I found it here:
    Or actually, in the google cache of the page, since the link didn’t seem to work. The page looks the raw text from someone who scanned the book, and has lots of other similarly funny stories and poems.

    • February 2, 2011 12:46 pm

      That makes sense, the handwriting isn’t Spencerian, but rather more like a mix of Palmer or Zaner- Bloser cursivewhich would lead me to believe it was stashed there in haste by my older siblings. So not really all that old, but still funny to think that was risque not too far back.

  34. February 2, 2011 11:01 am

    LOL! Too cute!

    I love the fir on the walls!


  1. Farm Poetry | Godfrey Family Farms

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